Life Just Feels So Perfect Right Now
by Kmn1999
Summary: With stunning black hair and gorgeous blue eyes, he had the rare talent of always being nice to everyone, no matter how cruel they were to him. The only problem was, Phil was openly bisexual. Good news, right? He stood a chance now! Wrong. (Phan HS AU) (Tw for homphobia, slight swearing and mention of suicidal thoughts) (Written for PBB 2015)


A/N: Okay wow I have a lot to say about this one I can't really organize my thoughts. First and foremost: this was written for PBB 2015. Please please please take the time to find this on my tumblr ( .com - under the fanfics tab) and look at the amazing art for this fic. It was done by dansduvet on tumblr who is an amazing artist and just an amazing person in general so make sure to check out that art and maybe give her a follow - you won't regret it. Also I had 2 betas, an official and an unofficial friend. So go thank breakingdownthosewalls and notsurewetherishouldbehere on tumblr for making this fic 2278729764816 times better. 2. Okay I'm proud of this. I procrastinated and managed to pump this out in a day - that's 6 straight hours of writing, and I was literally so exhausted by the end, and I still love it but if you think I regret waiting that long to write it, then you're 100% right. I still love it and love the plot though, so I'm not disappointed at all. And finally 3. Formatting's a bitch. Everything got messed up when I put it in , so if you see any errors plzzzzz let me know so I can fix it. That's all folks, thanks for reading this if you even stuck around this long, and enjoy the fic! :D

 **TWs just in case:** **Tonssss of homophobia, little bit of swearing, and mention of suicidal thoughts.**

Dan teetered on the edge of his seat, stuck in a seemingly never ending math class, anxiously tapping his pencil. The bell had been about to ring for the past seventy years, or so it felt to Dan- he couldn't wait to get to his last class of the day, history. He certainly wasn't the best at it, but he was currently working on a group project with the boy he liked, Phil Lester. With stunning black hair and gorgeous blue eyes, he had the rare talent of always being nice to everyone, no matter how cruel they were to him.

The only problem was, Phil was openly bisexual. Good news, right? He stood a chance now! Wrong. Whenever he tried to talk to Phil, everyone noticed. The minute the brunette stepped within a five foot radius of Phil, whispers started up, followed by a chorus of laughter. He could never get close to him without every kid in the school teasing him about being 'like that gay faggot Phil'. Dan desperately wanted to fit in, to have friends, but he really wanted Phil as well. While he couldn't really say he was popular, he definitely wasn't disliked right now. He was finally close to having friends, to being cool. But then Phil had to go and ruin it by being excruciatingly cute.

He was snapped out of his daydream by the piercing sound of the bell, and hastily grabbed his stuff, carelessly tossing it into his backpack before slinging it across his shoulder, and rushing to his next class.

He speed-walked to the class, slowing to a casual saunter once he passed the threshold. After all, Dan didn't want to seem desperate. Taking the time to adjust his fringe, he slid into his seat and hung his backpack on the back of his chair.

"Hey Phil," he said, trying for nonchalance as he turned to the beautiful boy next to him.

"Hi," he said absentmindedly, looking lost in thought.

"Hey Dan! Enjoying your time with the faggot?" One of the popular boys said as he walked in, slapping Phil on the back, just the wrong side of too hard. The older boy flinched a little bit before looking down.

"Yeah, I guess," Dan replied, as though his stomach hadn't jolted at that awful word, in an attempt to seem cool.

"Okay then, just don't let him infect you with his gayness," he said, letting out a cruel guffaw as he turned and walked away.

"Sorry he's such a jerk to you," Dan mumbled as soon as the boy was out of earshot.

"It's not your fault," Phil said back, smiling a little bit at Dan. But the timid grin was obviously fake, and Dan's heart couldn't help but to break just a little bit. He knew, all too well, it was his fault. He was the one who just wanted to seem cool, and let the other boy pay the price for him.

The bell rang again, signaling the start of the period. Various conversations around the room hushed as their teacher walked in a few minutes later, as per usual. He was an older man, at least in his fifties, and he was definitely nicer and more laid back than most of Dan's other teachers. It was as though his long career in teaching had taught him just how little most of the students cared. Whatever the reason, Dan was simply glad for the few homework assignments.

"Alright class, we're just going to continue with our World War II group presentations. You should be sitting with your partners already, but if you aren't, please find them and make the necessary rearrangements for seating, then get to work. Remember, you should be ready to present by the end of the week," he announced, turning to ignore his students immediately afterward, picking up his book and continuing to read.

"I'll go get us a computer," Dan said, already standing up. He walked to the back and picked up a laptop, turning around and almost colliding with another popular boy in his class.

"Hey there, Dan, you're not letting Phil infect you with his gay are you?" He asked, almost seeming genuinely concerned about Dan.

"No way man, don't worry," Dan said, trying to seem laid back but instantly feeling guilty. He returned to their table, setting the laptop in between himself and Phil and turning it on. Swiftly logging in with his school account, he opened it up to the PowerPoint they had been working on for the last few class periods. They hadn't made much progress, and had instead spent the whole lesson laughing at the hilariously awful clip art as they tried to find something to put on their presentation.

"I feel like we should actually do some work today," Phil said, grinning as he saw the weird pictures they had decided to put on the PowerPoint as a joke.

"Way to be a killjoy," Dan joked, but felt the all-too-quick sting of regret as he saw Phil lose the air of joviality in his face.

"Sorry," Phil said, dimming the light in his eyes that had been there when he first saw the PowerPoint, as he had remembered how hard they had been laughing just yesterday.

"No it's okay, I was just kidding. I agree with you actually, we only have a few days to finish. We might even have to meet up after school to work on it," Dan said, rushing to cover for his error, smiling reassuringly at Phil.

"Okay, can I come to your house at some point?" Phil asked.

"Yeah of course. Whenever you want." Dan tried not to think too hard about the underlying implications of that offer, focussing instead on the project.

"Is tonight good?"

"Yeah! You're free right after school, right?"

"Yeah, I don't do much." Privately Dan wondered why that could be. Surely, such a sweet, dynamic person as Phil must be involved in some sort of extra-currricular activity.

"Me neither, so we can just go straight to my house."

"Okay, awesome."

They spent the rest of the period trying to work on their project, but instead spent most of the time debating on the color scheme of the PowerPoint, and who they were actually doing a presentation on. By the time they had decided and actually typed it into the first slide, the bell had rung, and it was time to go home. Dan quickly saved the presentation to his flash drive, and removed it before logging out of the computer and turning it off, putting it back where he got it from.

"You ready?" Phil asked as he walked back to their seats, picking up his backpack when he got there.

"Yeah. I just have to grab my jacket from my locker first, you can come with though," he responded as they walked out.

"Okay awesome," he said, beaming brightly. It was the first time in a while he had genuinely smiled at someone else's kindness.

Dan slammed his locker shut, slinging his hoodie over his shoulder as he and Phil continued walking. As it turned out, they actually had a lot in common. Both of their favorite bands were Muse, and they both shared an appreciation for cartoons and anime. Phil loved Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Dan had just so happened to watch some of it the other day, giving them a lot to talk about.

It was weird how much Phil cared about the criticism he got from other people. One second Phil was laughing at a reference Dan had made, the next he was tensing up as they approached a group of popular guys.

"You okay?" The taller boy halted mid-sentence to check in on him.

"Yeah, just..." Phil started, trailing off as he nodded his head towards the group of guys.

"Hey- don't worry about them, they won't bother us," Dan said, but Phil didn't respond. He just stared at them, the look of apprehension on his face growing.

"Hey Phil! You trying to convert more people to your little faggot club? Can't even call it a club, cuz you're the only faggot here, but whatever," one of the guys, Josh, Dan remembered, hollered at them.

"Don't worry, Josh, he's not making me gay, it's not like he has secret mind powers," Dan snorted to Josh as he passed him.

"I don't know Howell, I'd watch out. You never know what a faggot will do to you. One minute you think they're nice and the next they're screwing you up the ass. Same with every one of them. I don't know why we haven't outlawed gays, it'd really save us a ton of trouble," Josh said, obviously trying to goad them into a fight. Dan didn't say anything, he just shrugged and kept walking, putting his arm around Phil when he hesitated for a second.

"Don't listen to them they're stupid. Can you believe they think I want to be friends with them?" he said to Phil, trying to joke a little once they were out of range of the group. The shorter teen stayed silent though, and Dan was getting increasingly concerned about his new friend.

"Phil? You okay?" He asked, stopping and turning Phil around so they were looking at each other. The other boy was shaking a bit. It would have been almost unnoticeable, except for the fact that Dan was looking for any signs as to what the startlingly silent teen was thinking.

"Come on, let's just go home," he decided, leaving the nasty encounter behind in the hopes that it would brighten up the other's mood, turning back around and continuing to stroll. "I have some episodes of Buffy on DVD, we can watch them when we get there," Dan informed him excitedly, earning a little smile from Phil.

"Really?" Phil asked, light finally returning to its rightful splendor in his ocean blue eyes.

"Yeah, of course! Let's just hurry to my house, it's not that long of a walk."

Dan had to dig around in his pocket for his key when they arrived at his house. He only had one key, he explained to Phil - he shouldn't be misplacing it as often as he did. When he finally found it, he stepped inside, holding the door open for Phil. He just stood there awkwardly at first as Dan took off his shoes and hung up his hoodie.

"Oh, you can just leave your shoes and backpack anywhere, I was thinking we could just hang out a little before watching some Buffy," Dan said, apparently forgetting that Phil had never been to his house before.

"Okay," he complied quietly, sliding his shoes off and putting them next to Dan's, and dropping his backpack next to those.'

"Do you like hot chocolate?" Dan hollered from the kitchen. He was a decent host, the older boy thought with a chuckle.

"Yeah actually I love it!" Phil called back excitedly. They spent the next few minutes in silence, apart from the occasional clang of a glass. Phil noted privately that Dan was definitely a clumsy person - it was evident by the way he couldn't even make two people something to drink without making a mess and being loud about it.

Eventually the drinks were done, and Dan brought it two steaming mugs of hot chocolate.

"I'm sorry, it's just it's fall- and I love hot chocolate," Dan explained, setting the cups down on the coffee table in front of the couch Phil was standing by. He approached the TV, standing by a shelf of what Phil could only assume to be movies and TV shows. After a couple seconds of searching, he finally plucked the Buffy one out. He grabbed the DVD and inserted it into the player on top of the TV. He turned it on, and then grabbed the remote and went to sit on the couch next to Phil.

"Sorry, I hate to be rude but it's kind of cold in here. Could we get a blanket or something?" Phil asked hesitantly, afraid to be a burden and ruin his first new friendship in so long.

"Yeah of course! I was actually thinking the same thing, I just didn't want to say anything. Oh I could start the fireplace as well!" Dan agreed, going to flip on a switch near the modern stone brick fireplace. After a couple seconds' delay, the artificial fire switched on. Dan went and grabbed a thick, fuzzy blanket from a large wicker basket that seemed to simply overflow with them. Bright light shone in from the huge front windows, making the room seem nice and cozy. Dan plopped down on the couch next to the ebony, spreading the blanket across them both as he hit play on the remote. Phil snuggled up in the blanket, enjoying the first truly happy moment he'd had in so long.

"We should probably move onto the actual project," Dan said after their fourth episode of Buffy.

"Probably," Phil said, sighing in regret before he reminded himself he still had time left with Dan- they had to finish by the rest of the week, and at their current rate, it'd likely take many more hangout/study sessions in order to end with a complete presentation. The aforementioned partner stood up and came back with his backpack, pulling his laptop and flash drive out of it. He carefully balanced it on his right leg and Phil's left one so they both had access to it. Dan opened the PowerPoint, chuckling a little bit as he saw the stupid pictures on it. He looked over to Phil, who was also smiling.

"So should we just continue where we left off?" Phil asked.

"Well, it's not like we did anything, so yeah, sure," Dan answered, laughing as he created a new slide. The two worked on it for a while together, and actually got a few slides done (complete with the funny clipart they'd wasted so much time on, of course).

"Well, we did more than we have in class," Phil acknowledged, content with what they had accomplished in so few hours. 'Content' was an understatement- he really was happy with how this was turning out. He was actually making a friend for once in his life, and he wouldn't have much homework to do once he left.

"Agreed," Dan said, stopping to think about how much had happened in the last few hours. Somehow he managed to ask the guy he liked if they could hang out, and then go home, watch TV, and snuggle up with the self-same guy he liked. This couldn't have been any more perfect.

"I might head home soon, I'm getting kind of hungry," Phil said, distraught as he realized their time together had to come to an end.

"Do you want to go out for food somewhere? I have money," Dan offered, trying to squeeze in a little more time with his partner before they had to leave.

"Yeah, sure." Phil felt a sense of elation at the prospect of hanging out for longer.

They obviously couldn't eat anywhere fancy, with the mere £10 they found in Dan's backpack, so they just decided to go to a McDonalds. Neither of them really cared, just so long as they got to spend a bit more time with each other. They both ordered simple cheeseburgers, and decided to share fries. They ate their meal mostly in silence as they went on their phones, occasionally stopping to show each other something funny they found. Eventually they had both finished their meals, and realized they probably needed to go. They decided to get milkshakes and leave.

"Do you need a ride?" Dan asked Phil as they meandered back along to Dan's house.

"No, it's okay, my mum can pick me up. But thank you for the offer!" Phil responded, pulling out his phone to text his mom.

The pair arrived at Dan's house before Phil's mum could get there, so they decided to just sit on the couch and talk. They discussed various animes they liked, and bands and books. Dan realized he couldn't have found a person more similar to him, and he was excited to finally be friends with someone who he didn't have to pretend to be someone else with. Phil felt the same - he finally found someone he could talk to without mean comments thrown in the mix.

Ere long, Phil's mum pulled up and rang the doorbell, signalling an end to their perfect evening.

"Hello Mrs. Lester," Dan said, smiling as he opened the door.

"Hi mum," Phil called from behind him as he slipped his shoes on and picked up his backpack.

"Hi…" Phil's mum started before realizing she didn't know Dan's name.

"I'm Dan," he said, sensing the woman's struggle.

"Nice to meet you Dan. I'm Phillip's mum," She said. "You ready to go Phil?"

"Yeah I'm ready. Thanks for the awesome night Dan!" Phil said, smiling as he walked out.

"Thanks for coming!" Dan called as he closed the door. He let out a sigh, leaning against the wooden paneling of his entryway before hastily straightening. He was not a girl, this had not been a date, and he could calm down. Still, life couldn't be any better in this moment. He walked upstairs and changed into his pajamas, not even bothering with the last of his homework. He didn't really care about his grades - both him and his parents were happy with Bs and Cs, and he felt too happy to stress out about things like that right now. He laid down in bed and started absentmindedly scrolling through his phone, but eventually he felt himself starting to drift off into a peaceful sleep.

Phil's mum quietly got into the driver's seat of the car, Phil slipping into the passenger's seat. She wordlessly started the car and drove away, a serious look on her face.

"He's not your boyfriend, is he?" she asked tersely after a few minutes, finally breaking the tense silence that had been pressing on them before.

"No, he's just a friend," Phil explained, exasperated with his parents.

"Good," his mum said, smiling in what seemed to be relief, obviously having been concerned about the issue.

Phil sighed. He wasn't able to talk to one person without them worrying about him dating another boy. The teen had made the mistake of coming out to his parents when he came out to the school about a year ago, and both the school and his parents had a painfully negative reaction. His parents didn't hate him or anything - they never would. But they just couldn't wrap their heads around him being bisexual. They fervently hoped he would just end up with a girl and they could all forget about it and just be a happy little traditional family, but of course that would never happen. Phil was bi, as he had explained to his parents, but what he had neglected to mention was that he was mostly into guys. Sure, the occasional girl would catch his eye, but he felt in his heart that he would most likely end up with another guy. Phil's family seemed to have some sort of understanding about this as well, but didn't really want to admit it. At first they tried ignoring it, tiptoeing delicately around the subject, but then they realized it wouldn't go away. So they just expressed their disapproval in an extremely obvious manner, hoping they could shame it out of sight, into a dark corner where it could never again be seen, and could never bother them further... Eventually they came to the realization that nothing would work, so they just decided to stick with that, and make sure he never actually got a boyfriend. They also knew about the bullying at school, but they did nothing about it, and although neither of them would ever admit it, a small part of them was glad for it. Maybe it would discourage Phil from liking boys, and maybe he would start liking girls.

Of course, Phil knew all of what they thought about him. He had heard their conversations- closed doors were simply not enough in a house with paper-thin walls, and their attitudes were clear. He just wished they would realize that no matter how much crap he got for it, it wouldn't change his heart. They weren't helping him into making 'better choices with his life', they were just ruining it. The constant negativity really got to him. He used to be happy, smiling during classes, talking to people, but now he would sit there quietly, sometimes going as far as to try and plot his own death. Phil knew he would never actually do it of course - he wasn't that brave, and a small part of him told him there was

to live for, and even though he didn't know what, he knew it would all be worth it in the end. It had to be.

They eventually pulled into the driveway of their small house. He walked inside, dropping his backpack on the ground next to the door.

"Hey Phil, how was school?" His dad barely looked up from his desktop, absorbed in his work.

"Great actually," Phil replied, trudging up the stairs to his room.

"No homework?" Mr. Lester looked up, surprised at his son's response.

"Nope," Phil lied. He really just couldn't be bothered to do any of it, and it's not like it mattered anyway.

"Okay then," he heard his dad say as he continued walking up, most likely not believing his lie. Phil opened the door to his room, slamming it shut as he walked over to his bed, simultaneously laying down and pulling out his phone. He scrolled through it for a bit, before deciding to head downstairs to get some water.

He crept downstairs in case either of his parents were sleeping. It wasn't that late, but sometimes they went to bed early, and he wasn't in the mood to get in a fight with either of them. As he walked downstairs, he overheard his parents talking.

"I'm just worried about him," his mum was whispering to his dad. They both seemed to have extremely concerned faces.

"I am too, but we can't ruin his one friendship if it actually is a friendship," his dad reasoned.

"I know that, but what if they end up as… partners..." His mum said, and Phil felt himself start to tense up. He didn't know why he was so mad - he should be used to this. But every time it happened he found himself riled up. He hated it. Why couldn't they just let him live his life? Phil would be able to move out in a few years' time, and then they wouldn't have to talk to him, wouldn't have to deal with the negative reputation he would give them, wouldn't have to deal with all his 'faggot-ness' (which he had a lot of, according to the kids at school).

"Then we can break it off for them and tell this Dan guy to take a step back. But, until then, I think we should just watch them and make sure nothing else happens between them," his dad said calmly, still talking extremely quietly.

"Okay, fine, but I still don't like it…" His mum said, trailing off at the end of her sentence.

"Neither do I, but it'll all work out for us." His dad placed a kiss on his mum's forehead, and they both went back to watching the TV. This last sentence made him the most angry. The way he used 'us' at the end implied that this would affect their lives greatly. Well news-flash, Phil thought bitterly, you shouldn't care. This was his life and whatever choices he made in regards to relationships, they shouldn't make them for him. It was his life and his parents weren't going to stop him from falling in love with someone.

Phil waited in his place on the stairs for a few minutes, just to be sure they didn't know he had listened, before getting a glass and filling it up with tap water. He went back upstairs solemnly, still upset that his parents thought they could control his life like that. He laid down and turned off the lamp near his bed before drifting to sleep, dreaming of what could be.

Dan woke up to his alarm blaring, sighing as he realized it was time to start another day of school. He sat up and shut it off, remembering his night with Phil. Jumping off his bed happily, he hurriedly dressed and prepared for the oncoming day. Sheer anticipation kept him moving at a fast pace, as he grew ever more excited to see the object of his affections.

"Hey Dan! Sorry, we both got home late last night. Dad left for work already - I tried to convince him to at least say hi to you, but he refused,' his mum informed him cheerfully, packing up a lunch for herself to take to work

"It's fine, I just had a friend over last night to do homework and hang out for a bit. We got dinner and everything, don't worry," Dan said happily, filling a bowl with cereal and milk.

"Oh that's good!" His mum said, knowing that Dan never had friends over. Dan smiled brightly, quickly devouring his bowl of cereal before going to pick up his backpack from where it had been left on the couch last night. He realized all his stuff had been put back in it - probably by his mum, feeling guilty for coming home late without warning, but he didn't mind.

"Have a good day!" His mum called as he opened the door, shivering as he stepped outside into the cold autumn air.

"Thanks, you too!" He called back, smiling as he slammed the door shut behind him, and started his long walk to school.

Dan practically floated through all his classes, constantly excited to see Phil again. They had no other classes together, and they didn't even see each other during passing periods, due to the unfortunate layout of the school. At last, he sat in math again, the bell about to ring. He had put all his stuff away already so he could rush to history and talk to Phil. After two agonizing minutes, it finally rang, and he hurriedly picked up his backpack and sped out, determined to get to history fast. He arrived there before Phil, and slid into his seat, turning towards the door so he could see when he came in. Eventually he did, and he looked just as dejected as he did yesterday at the same time. But when he saw Dan sitting in their usual spots, he perked up a bit, grinning as he walked over to sit next to him.

"Hey!" Dan said, upbeat. After nearly a whole day spent thinking about this moment, he found it was even better than he dreamed.

"Hi," Phil responded, seeming kind of lost in thought, but still happy.

"What's up?" Dan said, trying to make conversation.

"Nothing much, you?" Phil shrugged, smiling a little bit at Dan.

"Nothing," he said, shrugging the same way as Phil.

"Wow, what happened to make Dan actually talk to the faggot?" The same guy that had 'talked' to them yesterday said. Neither of them said anything.

"Wow look at that you aren't even denying it! Are you both faggots now? See, we tried to warn you Dan, we told you he'd turn you into a faggot, too. Did he take you last night? I bet he did, I bet you both had faggot sex last night didn't you," the guy goaded.

"No we didn't have 'faggot sex'," Dan said, putting up air quotations around those last words, " I have someone I like, why would I do that with Phil?" he said, purposely being vague about just exactly who he liked. Despite him not explicitly saying he had a girlfriend, Phil didn't get the hint, and looked even more saddened at this.

"Yeah, I bet you realized you liked him after he raped you last night. That's what all faggots do, right? Hey, Phil, you can answer this. Don't you all rape people and turn them into faggots like you?" he said. Though the taunts had no technical profanity in them, the bully made up for it in volume, letting the whole class know what he thought of the pair. They both knew he was trying to goad them into starting a fight with them.

"No he didn't, we just worked on our history project," Dan answered for Phil, seeing the other boy shaking in his seat and looking at the ground, seeming physically incapable of answering.

"Okay, if you say so," he said, shrugging a bit. Dan was about to say something back, but the bell rang and the teacher, unusually (and unfortunately) early, walked in, preventing him from saying anything. Dan threw one last glare at the boy, who just sneered, before turning around to face the front.

"Alright class, you have two more days in class to work on your projects before we'll be presenting them. I'd get to work today - a lot of you haven't been working much the last few days," he said, eyeing a few of the groups of guys at the back of the room, who had probably just been watching porn during their work time.

Dan stood up to go retrieve a laptop. He grabbed one and turned around to walk back, but was quickly stopped by the boy who had tried to fight with him earlier. He shoved Dan into the laptop cart, obviously on purpose. The taller boy fell against it, nearly toppling over the entire cart in what would have been a monumental disaster, but catching himself on a table nearby.

"Oh! I am so sorry faggot-sucker, I did not mean to do that at all," he said, smiling cruelly at him.

"Tyler!" Their teacher said sternly from the front of the room, glaring disapprovingly at him. Dan looked at the same teacher gratefully, before rising up and trying to walk back to his and Phil's seat. But of course he had to be stopped by another one of the boys.

"Dude.. Dan… Please don't be gay…" Said the same boy who had seemed concerned about him yesterday. At least someone didn't completely hate him. He was starting to see what Phil went through on a daily basis, just on a much larger scale obviously. Dan just nodded and sent a reassuring (and completely false) smile at him, before walking back to his seat, setting the laptop in between himself and Phil.

"How do you deal with those jerks every day?" Dan whispered to Phil as he logged on to their computer and grabbed his flash drive.

"I don't, I kind of just ignore them and try not to answer back, but it doesn't really work the best so I wouldn't be asking me for advice," Phil whispered back, shrugging a bit.

Dan wordlessly opened the PowerPoint, glad they had actually made some progress last night. ]

"We actually did a lot," Phil said, literally speaking Dan's mind.

"Yeah we did," Dan responded, creating a new slide. They worked on it more, and got another two slides done before they realized the bell was about to ring.

"Hey, you want to come to my house after school?" Dan asked Phil, hoping he'd say yes.

"Yeah, of course!"

Dan quickly shut the laptop and went back before any of the annoying guys could say anything. The bell rang just as Dan got back, and he slide his flash drive into his backpack before picking it up and walking outside with Phil. The pair mostly walked in silence, occasionally saying something along the lines of 'Damn it's cold!', but it was a comfortable silence, and they were both just happy to be near each other.

They made it back to Dan's house without freezing to death, and they instantly shuddered at the heat.

"Hey boys!" Dan's mum called from the kitchen.

"Hey, mum. I thought you said you wouldn't be back until later," Dan said, eyeing Phil, who remained awkwardly standing there smiling.

"I decided not to go in today," she said, smiling at them.

"Okay. This is Phil, by the way," Dan introduced his friend.

"Hi Phil," his mum said sweetly.

"Hi Mrs. Howell," Phil responded shyly.

"I made you boys some snacks, do you want them?" She asked, holding up a bowl of chips and apple slices.

"Yeah sure we'll take them. We're just going to go upstairs," Dan said, walking up and grabbing the snacks.

"Okay, you boys have fun!"

"Thank you!" They both called in unison, hurrying up the stairs.

Dan led the way to his room, opening the door and walking in. Phil followed him and closed the door, walking into Dan's room. It was nothing nice, but for whatever reason it just felt special to see it. He doubted Dan had friends over a lot. It was a weird color - kind of cream, but just darker. It would be an extremely odd color usually, but it looked nice with the rest of the room. He had a dark brown bed, which was currently unmade, with a black duvet. A small TV was set up on a cupboard, an xbox on one of the shelves with two chairs and a bean bag facing it. Xbox game cases were in the shelf, appearing as though someone had once tried to make them neat but had failed miserably, so that they all ended up falling over, not to mention the numerous ones strewn about the room. A wooden dresser stood solidly next to the TV, some dirty clothes lying on top of it, others hanging off it and lying in piles onto the floor below. He had a desk on the other wall, the one with the door. Papers and textbooks were randomly scattered around it, a couple on a ground, and more than a couple lying on the ground next to the plastic clear trash bin next to the desk. Above the desk some pictures were messily taped of - they were mostly of younger Dan and his parents, younger Dan and a person who was probably his brother, younger Dan with some other boys who didn't look very interested in him. He could tell Dan had been a loner his whole life, and he didn't understand it. How could Dan not appeal to anyone?

"So, you want to play some video games?" Dan asked after letting Phil look around the room. He was quite honestly embarrassed at the current state of it, but Phil didn't seem to mind.

"Yeah, sure!" Phil said, startled out of the trance-like state he had entered into as he had been admiring Dan's room.

"Alright, is Crash Bandicoot good?" He asked, already pulling out the game from his shelf.

"Yeah, I love that game!" Phil said, excited to share one of his favorite games with his new friend.

"Yeah I know, you mentioned it yesterday and I hadn't really played it before, so I figured why not try now?"

"Okay then I won't make fun of you when you're awful," Phil joked, laughing a little bit as he sat down in the beanbag.

"Thanks," Dan said sarcastically, putting the game in and going to sit down on a chair next to Phil.

They played for the next three hours, trading off controllers whenever they died. Dan died a lot more than Phil did though, so they decided to give Dan two tries until he got better.

"Man I'm getting hungry," Dan said after he failed again.

"Oops sorry," Phil said, reaching up to where the plate was balanced on Dan's chair to grab the last cracker.

"Phil, I hate you!" Dan joked, and Phil laughed. For the first time in so long he had a friendship where he knew that the other person would remain friends unconditionally. He knew he hadn't known Dan for that long, and it may be cliché but they really did just click from the moment they started talking to each other.

"Do you want to go get dinner?" Phil suggested, already moving to stand up.'

"Yeah let's go," Dan said, standing up. They both walked down the stairs to the kitchen, laughing and joking about completely random stuff. They walked into the kitchen to the smell of food and the sound of Dan's mum humming.

"Hey boys, I thought you'd be getting hungry soon so I put in a pizza for you. It's not much sorry but it's really the best we have," she said, seeming upset that she couldn't make something better.

"No mum it's fine. It's definitely better than yesterday's meal," Dan joked, making Phil laugh as they both slid into two seats at the breakfast bar.

"Yeah I'm just not a good cook, and Dan knows it," she said, laughing a little at her own joke.

"It's true," Dan said, shrugging a bit as a smile formed on his face.

"Mrs. Howell, just remember that as bad as your cooking skills are, they're not as bad as Dan's Crash Bandicoot skills," Phil joked.

"Hey shut up!" Dan said laughing, jokingly shoving Phil a little bit. They both started laughing, and soon even Dan's mum joined in.

"I'm not even sure what that is, but it sounds like something Dan would be bad at," she said, chuckling a little.

"Wow thanks for the support mum," Dan said, laughing a bit. Phil was still laughing incredibly hard, his head laying on the counter, his body shaking with his laughs.

They all joked about random things like that for the next ten minutes or so until the pizza was ready. When it was, Dan's mum took it out and cut it into slices. She pulled out two plates and put a few slices on each, setting them in front of the boys. Phil immediately started eating his, and sighed when he tasted it.

"This is so good," he said, his mouth still full of food.

"Oh no it's just store bought, but I'm glad you like it," Dan's mum said, starting the dinner cleanup. The two ate in comfortable silence enjoying their pizza.

"That was really good," Dan said, leaning back in his chair once they were finished.

"I'm glad. Hey Phil, do you need a ride?" Dan's mum asked politely, taking a slice of pizza herself.

"I'd hate to be rude but I actually could use one," Phil responded, still a little bit shy and scared to be rude and lose Dan's friendship or his mum's approval.

"It's no problem, just tell me whenever!" She said, smiling as she finished her pizza.

"Could we leave soon? I'm sorry I don't want to leave but I have a ton of homework to be doing," he said sadly.

"Yeah of course! Just let me get my jacket," she said, hurrying upstairs.

The two boys walked into the living room and grabbed their shoes and jackets, Phil grabbing his backpack as well. After a few minutes of laughing about random internet jokes, Dan's mum came back down.

"Ready?" She asked.

"Yeah," they answered together, following Dan's mum towards the garage.

The car ride was filled with many laughs from both of them, and occasionally Dan's mum too. But soon enough they arrived at Phil's house.

"Alright this is it. Bye Dan, see you in history tomorrow!" Phil said excitedly, grabbing his backpack as he got out.

"See you tomorrow!"

"Bye sweetie! I'll wait here until you go in," Dan's mum said nicely as Phil started walking away.

Phil rang the doorbell and waited for someone to answer. After about a minute his dad did.

"You're back late," he said disapprovingly as he opened the door.

"Yeah, I was at a friend's house," he answered nonchalantly, waving to Dan and his mum. He vaguely saw both of them wave back, and smiled as he stepped inside.

"Oh. Dan again?"

"Yeah why?" Phil said, getting slightly tense as he remembered the conversation he overheard last night.

"Nothing. Just wondering," his dad said back, obviously lying.

"Okay then," Phil said, taking off his shoes before heading upstairs.

Phil tried to work on his homework, but eventually ended up doodling all over the worksheet. He didn't even realized it at first, but little doodles of two boys with fringes littered his paper. Their was the two playing video games, watching TV, eating, walking, everything. He even noticed one where the taller boy was proposing to the other. He sighed as he realized what was happening. He liked Dan. He knew Dan couldn't like him back - Dan was straight - but he liked Dan. At least he was lucky to be able to enjoy a friendship with him though - not many people were that lucky.

Dan's mum smiled the whole way home. She was overjoyed Dan finally had a best friend. He had always had problems with making friends - he would try and fit in, but he wouldn't quite be able to. He was never happy because he refused to be himself, and even when he wasn't someone else people still didn't like him. He had said he was starting to hang out with all the cool kids at school, but she guessed that plan wasn't quite working out for him - she just got the feeling Phil wasn't a jock.

Dan also smiled the whole way home. He was happy that Phil finally realized that he wouldn't hate him, and he could finally call this person his true friend. It was amazing that in a matter of days, he could go from admiring this amazing person from a distance to being best friends with them, and hanging out with them every day. For the first time since he could remember, life was perfect.

The next day at school, Dan was sitting in his seat for physics, daydreaming about himself and Phil, when an announcement came over the loudspeakers.

"Hello students! We would just like to remind you that our school's 28th annual autumn dance will be taking place next friday from 8pm to 11pm. That's friday, the 20th of October, 8pm to 11pm. Admission is £5 and tickets will be sold at the door. Thank you, and we hope to see you there!"

Well _shit._

Dan knew he would have to find someone to go with. No, scratch that, some

to go with, if he wanted to seem cool. He could finally prove that he was worthy, but no, Phil had to go and be cute and fuck it all up for him, didn't he. Well, there goes Dan's chances of ever seeming cool. He went back to his daydreaming, blocking out the rest of the class, who were all eagerly discussing their plans for the dance.

Dan slid into his seat in history, almost late after his math teacher made him stay behind to discuss his lack of focus. The bell rang just as he sat down, and whispered a brief 'hi' to Phil, still out of breath from running halfway across the school to get there.

"Hi," Phil whispered back, exchanging a smile with the other boy.

"Alright class, this is our last work day in class, so finish things up and be ready to present on Monday," their teacher said before going back into his routine quietness. Dan went up as usual to grab their laptop, surprised at the lack of immediate comments towards him. He sat down and opened their PowerPoint as per usual.

"I think we're pretty much done," Phil said, smiling as the near-completed project flashed up on the screen.

"Yeah I agree. I think we should just fix a few layout things," Dan responds.

"Okay," Phil says, focusing intently on their project.

The period seemed to go without incident, but of course it had to go wrong. Just ten minutes left of the period, the two had almost had a great day, but they just had to go and ruin it.

"Hey Dan, are you going to the dance with anyone? You know you can't go with your faggot Phil, right?" The boy, Tyler, Dan remembered, said, leaning forward over the table a bit.

"I know. I'm not going with anyone," Dan said, trying his best to seem chilled out, but inside he knew this was going to ruin their day, and that just made him mad.

"Why not? You could totally get a girl!" Tyler said, obviously not meaning what he said.

"Yeah, but I don't like anyone," Dan responded, making it seem like that was an obvious fact.

"Really? Because just yesterday, I remember you saying that you liked someone," Tyler said, a giant smirk on his face now that he knew he had caught Dan lying somewhere.

"Oh well I do like someone, but I don't stand a chance with them, so I just meant I don't like anyone I had a chance with," Dan said, not quite lying.

"If you say so, but I still think you want to go with your fag," Tyler said, still smirking as he could tell Dan was lying somewhere. Dan just scowled and turned around, going back to help Phil finish up their project.

"You can come over, right?" Dan said, absentmindedly watching Phil make the final edits to the PowerPoint.

"Yeah of course. Mind if I spend the night?" Phil asked.

"Yeah that'd be awesome!"

Dan opened the door to their house, noticing his mum wasn't home, but knowing she'd be home later.

"Well, looks like we have the house to ourselves," Dan said, dropping his backpack and kicking off his shoes next to it.

"Okay. Hey I saw someone in those pictures in your room who looked like your brother, who is he?"

"Yeah he's my brother," Dan said, smiling a little with the memories.

"Oh, where is he then? I've been here a lot and never seen him," Phil said, excited to meet more of Dan's family.

"He's never home. He's really popular and is always at some friend's house," Dan said, seeming slightly bitter for some reason.

The two wordlessly sat down on the couch, grabbing the same blanket they had used a few days ago, which Dan's mum had nicely folded and put on the side of the couch. Dan clicked on the TV and put some stupid baking show, shrugging as he set the remote down.

"Really Dan," Phil laughed.

"Why not! It's probably the only thing on right now."

"Okay. If you say so," Phil said, not actually caring what they watched. They sat in silence, not really watching the show, both just daydreaming about the other. The only problem was that neither of them knew.

"So what Tyler was saying earlier. You going to the dance with someone?" Phil asked absentmindedly. Dan tensed up a little at Tyler's name, before realizing it was a perfectly innocent question.

"Yeah, probably not," he said, sad at the fact that he would miss another night that everyone else would spend being happy with the people they love.

"Why not? I'd just ask the girl you like, who cares if you don't stand a chance," Phil said, looking kind of sad as he said this.

"No way. I know the person doesn't like me back. And everyone would hate me and laugh at me if they even found out about me trying to ask them," Dan said, certain about the fact. He was determined not to lie, and instead just chose truths that wouldn't clue him in to anything.

"Do you like one of the jock's girlfriends?" Phil asked, seeming shocked.

"What no, why would I ever like one of them," Dan said, obviously disgusted with the thought.

"Then just ask her. It's just a high school dance, no one cares," Phil said, now excited for Dan to ask this mysterious girl to the dance.

Dan took a deep breath. He didn't know why but Phil's positivity gave him a sudden blast of courage. He knew he would probably just end up ruining their friendship but he didn't care, he just wanted this.

"Okay then. Phil Lester would you like to go to the Autumn Dance with me?"

Phil just stared at him in shock, his mouth open like he wanted to say something but couldn't. Dan instantly regretted it, not knowing why he had done that. He knew Phil would say no and think he was weird, but he still did it and probably ruined the first friendship he'd had in a long time.

"I'd love to!" Phil suddenly said after he got knocked out of his shock. But now it was Dan's turn to be shocked.

"Wait, really?" He said, infinitely excited at this new discovery. How did he not realize Phil could like him back. How did he never take that into consideration?

"Of course! Dan when you started talking to me I wasn't sure what this feeling was, but I knew I hadn't felt it so long. And I realized it was happiness, and joy and love. I realized I could finally be happy with you," Phil admitted, looking down shyly as he spoke. Dan suddenly leaned forward, catching Phil in a kiss. Phil seemed surprised at first, but eventually relaxed. They broke apart and said nothing, just stared at each other and smiled. Eventually they went back to the TV, wrapped in each other's arms on the sofa.

"Do you want to go get suits tomorrow?" Dan mumbled, somewhat tired but not really caring - he was just too happy in this moment.

"Yeah sure," Phil said, equally as tired. They laid like that for a few hours, mindlessly watching TV and daydreaming about the other.

Unfortunately, their few hours of peace were broken by the sound of the door starting to open. They both scrambled to create a casual, friendly way of sitting, and they probably looked a little awkward, but neither of them particularly cared.

"Hey, how are you guys doing?" Dan's mum said as she walked in the door, followed by Dan's dad.

"Good," Dan answered lazily.

"I'm doing great, and you Mrs. Howell?" Phil asked politely. He smiled a little bit, realizing he had answered that question honestly. He didn't remember when the last time he did that was.

"That's good, and I'm great too thanks for asking. Oh! This is Dan's father," she introduced, gesturing towards the man who had followed her in.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Howell, I'm Phil," the shorter boy said, standing up to shake his hand.

"Nice to meet you Phil," he replied.

"Hey dad, I was wondering if you could take me and Phil shopping for suits for the Autumn Dance tomorrow?" Dan asked, a small spark of excitement in his voice.

"Of course! I'm not working tomorrow, so just tell me whenever!" He said, walking into the kitchen to get some food.

"Who are you guys going with?" His mom asked, seeming excited for her son and his newly titled boyfriend.

"Oh, just each other," Dan said before Phil could say anything. He was somewhat nervous but determined not to let it show.

"Oh that's amazing!" Dan's mom said happily. She walked over to them, pulling Dan into a hug. "I can't believe my son has a boyfriend," she said, seeming so proud. She then pulled away and gave Phil another huge hug.

"You boys tell me if you need anything!" She said, walking into the kitchen. The new couple simultaneously let out a sigh of relief.

"Well, that went better than expected," Dan said, smiling a bit at Phil.

"Agreed," Phil said, letting out a leftover nervous laugh.

"Back to the TV?" Dan asked, nodding his head towards it slightly.

"Yeah sure," Phil said, sitting down. Dan sat down next to him, leaning his head Phil's shoulder. Phil put his arm around Dan, pulling him just a little bit closer as they sat, enjoying the fact that even though it was chilly outside, they were nice and warm, wrapped in blankets and sharing body heat.

It was probably the best night either of them had ever had. They sat there snuggled together for hours, occasionally sharing a kiss or two. Phil texted his parents to let them know he was staying the night at Dan's house (they weren't very pleased about this, but Phil didn't care). Dan's mum made some bowls of mac and cheese and brought it in to them, and they silently ate it. It wasn't an awkward silence though - in fact they both appreciated the fact that they didn't have to use words to say how much they cared about each other.

Suit shopping was extremely uneventful. Phil's parents came along too, and they all told them that they were just going as friends. They seemed fairly skeptical, but didn't say anything, so everyone just forgot about it. They both got matching black and white suits that looked great on both of them. They also realized that shopping was boring. Really boring. It was just hours of trying on similar looking clothing, realizing how ugly you were, rinse and repeat. The only reason they decided on the suit they did was because they got too annoyed to continue. Yeah the suits looked good, but according to the parents there was probably a better one. Neither of them really cared, and just went with the last suits they had tried on.

Finally the night of the dance came. They had many more evenings like their last ones, all of them just as enjoyable as the last. For both of them, doing anything with the other was fun (except shopping of course, but at least that was bearable now). The two decided to leave the suits at Dan's house to make things easier. So after school on the day, they walked home as usual, both of them feeling a mix of both excitement and nerves. Dan's parents had both come home early to help the couple get ready. They both changed into their suits while Dan's parents plugged in hair straighteners. Once the two had changed, the parents fixed their fringes. They were all so excited - after a week of waiting they finally had a whole night to themselves.

Dan's parents had made dinner reservations with a nice Italian restaurant in town - it was perfect for them. The couple ate while discussing different animes, of course throwing in the occasional meme. By the end, they were both laughing hysterically, and both of them were so glad to be able to share these moments with each other.

The couple nervously walked into the dance, scared they would be noticed by some of the guys who had been making fun of them. But lucky for them, it wasn't like either of them were particularly popular or noticeable people, so it was alright. They mostly just stood in the back of the auditorium, away from all the people. It was actually a lot more fun than it sounds. They mostly just tried to dance to whatever song came on, but neither of them could dance so they mainly just ended up laughing at both themselves and each other. That is, until a slow song came on.

' _Wise men say'_

The music started. The couple turned to each other and made eye contact, slowly moving closer to each other.

' _Only fools rush in'_

Dan locked his hands around Phil's shoulders, Phil's hands going to Dan's waist.

' _But I can't help'_

They started swaying to the music, ever so slightly.

' _Falling in love with you'_

Their eyes stopped wandering the room, and instead focused on each other, smiling as they made eye contact.

' _Shall I stay'_

They both refused to move their feet for fear of tripping, so instead they just stayed in that position.

' _Would it be a sin'_

"Hey look it's the faggots!"

' _If I can't help'_

They moved in closer to each other, almost as if they were hugging.

' _Falling in love with you'_

They continued swaying to the music as Tyler's group of friends gathered around them.

' _Like a river flows'_

"Ew look at them they're gonna make us all gay!"

' _Surely to the sea'_

Dan flipped them off, not moving anything except his left hand - Phil probably hadn't even noticed.

' _Darling so it goes'_

"Woah look at that, faggot boys getting feisty!"

' _Some thing are meant to be'_

Dan put his hand down, smiling contently against Phil.

' _Take my hand'_

Dan felt something wet drop against the shoulder Phil was resting his head above.

' _Take my whole life too'_

"You okay?" Dan whispered to him.

' _For I can't help'_

"I'm great."

' _Falling in love'_

"Why are you crying then?"

' _With'_

"I don't know."

' _You.'_

"Life just feels so perfect right now."


End file.
